Déjà vu do (Short Story)

Déjà vu do

I love…love doing enjoyable social things, especially with the involvement of women. However, I don’t like doing them alone. Its quite paradoxical, I love being sociable but am too scared to with some sort of confidant. My good friends have all moved away and my second string friends have a first team squad where they spend most of their time; therefore, I am spending most of my time in isolation. A get the since a majority of my life has been in isolation. Another paradoxical thing, it is only when I am isolated and crave other human beings, that I am most terrified one actually might be secretly present.

I hate telling the same story, but because I do so little, I have only a hand full of quality anecdotes. Inevitably I repeat them, so if I catch myself then I stop the story awkwardly and ask the person if I am repeating myself. Most of the time the other party was nice enough to not tell me, but when they respected my request of honesty it just really pissed me off. If I realize midway through an unprepared story is not as great as when it happened, I start to embellish. I typically get really giddy about telling an awesome story that stars me, but the giddiness gets reversed to angst when I realize I have told it or its lame.

I am with my friend Craig, who is in town from Transylvania. He is the one living an adventures life and I am telling him about my mundane existence as a substitute teacher. I become self aware of this horribly boring story detailing my life and ask him to tell me about the peace work he has been doing in Tanzania. As he is telling me, these two girls overhear and it just so happens they are also doing peace work and the really incredible part is they are also doing it in Tibet. I am typically rather horrid at talking with ladies, but tonight it is like there interest match up perfectly with mine. There is a weird...trippey quality to the whole experience. It feels like constant déjà vu, where I have been there before, but it’s like a Dali painting where all time is stopped.

This déjà vu is with really obvious things. Like at the restaurant a couple sat down and I felt a deja vu that the waiter was going to bring them food. However, I get the since that it was the same couple, ordering the same food, from the same waiter, in exactly the same circumstance, that engulfs my brain and makes the situation feel more then familiar. This new found deja vu is not something I hate, its actually kind of enjoyable from the monotony of the day to day. However, I have the sneaking suspension that it is driving me insane.

I digress, as I was saying this pretty beautiful girl invites me over to her apartment, which looks like mine, but it is somewhat more opaque. I am trying to stay positive, because this constant déjà vu is somehow brining me down, despite how badass this scenario is promising to be. I am directed to her computer and shown pictures of her in dimly let clubs being social and fun. After I view the fortieth or so picture, the déjà vu becomes intense. I am not sure if it is because I have seen her pictures before, or if it seems my whole life is sitting alone bitterly watching others live a segment of the life I wish I was living.

So, I guess I blacked out during the awesome part, but I am pretty sure it was awesome. I am really disappointed because I don’t know if I made out with her or we did more or hopefully not less. I am terribly sad I can not remember this total contrast from my usual routine.

As I am sitting in my room figuring out how to keep this bizarre scenario from turning in to something that is not uplifting. I decide to enhance it, so I got my buddy to buy me weed. This is the first time I have bought it and am worried about having a criminal record, but I am so bored and need something to enhance this déjà vu like day.

So as I am sitting in my room having smoked a good deal of the marijana, a rush of intense fear engulfs me. I am at first not sure why I am so scared and then I remember that the sense the déjà vu is giving me is that there are Pakistani terrorist in my basement waiting to film my beheading. I couldn’t move, nor did I want to, because I new with the lights on in my bed the element of surprise was removed from their plan and I was temporarily safe. I eventually desperately had to pee, but I could not get up because they were waiting to abduct me. Part of me realized I was acting like I god dang four year old, but I remembered through the déjà vu, that it was when I got up to pee that I got abducted by terrorist. Therefore, the only way to prevent it was to stay in bed. Eventually, I just decided that I could not hold it in any longer, so I just went for it and I pissed myself.

The previous night I kept repeating to myself, that I was flushing the weed down the toilet when this experience was over. I could not put myself through that insane paranoia again, so I simply could never ever smoke again. However, I hate wasting things. I figured I wouldn’t plan on smoking, but what if I girl came over, then it would be really fun to smoke with her. While, girls absolutely never come over, I recalled the Boy Scout motto of always be prepared.

A friend of mine who I hated was however coming over. We had been friends from high school because we both had in common but one thing, we both didn’t want to not have any friends. He was mean, loud, bossy and just generally terrible. However, despite me hating him, I was excited to have someone to go out with, since it was Halloween and felt obligated to go out to the bar. I figured with my parents out of town, we could have some drinks here, and then go out to the bar scene in Alexandria. He agreed to drive, so as I waiting for him I started drinking. He eventually called me to tell me that a better offer came up and he wasn’t going to hang out. I was only kind of drunk at this point, but figured that tonight would be a good night to just drink and smoke until I reached Nirvana. So I played video game guitar and I guess drank for a while. Then I felt if I really wanted to convince myself I was a rock star, so I considered smoking the weed. Since I wanted to done with it, I figured the best thing to do, would be to smoke all of it, which was a fucken insane amount for me. It was like a suitcase full, which somehow did not feel like what I purchased. However, I am pretty sure I did smoke it all. I played the game for a while until I kept feeling like there was someone coming down stairs to do harm to me. So I went up to my family room and turned on the television and watched Barack Obama give a speech on Cspan. I got depressed about how I was too smart to be trapped at my parent’s house and not working for the president and doing something altruistic. So I figured I would go all out tonight and then be done after tonight and start my life a fresh tomorrow. The weed made me super horny, so I figured I would walk to the bar that was about a mile or two down the road and use my drunk to pick up a girl. I took the back roads to progress down before I would cross the main road and hit the strip mall.

Oh nooooooo, what had I done.

In got lost in the woods. Though these woods were not like the woods seemed larger and more haunting then the neighborhood woods. How did this happen. Nothing bad happens when I don’t leave the house.

As the marijuana was starting to take affect, it dawned on me what an idiot I was for smoking so much. I recalled that pot: first, dulls reaction time, second it heightens your senses, and third, it also can make you paranoid. As soon as I recalled them happening they occurred. So, on top of my natural paranoia being heightened, there is also the added paranoia that just comes from smoking. I thought about what a truly a brilliant decision I made smoking the night after I wet the bed. Then I laughed at the even more brilliant decision walking in woods, a setting that fostered oh so many childhood nightmares of being chased with chain saw yielding serial killer. I new I was high, but I did not feel high, and I new these woods were going to be the end of me before it even happened.

This was the moment that I die! Oh yea, I am going to die. God, please don’t let me die tonight, I beg you! This is not when I am supposed to die! I want to write a book and be president and meet women I can marry. No I can’t die tonight! I am going to die. I started to laugh and then chanted that I am going to kill you before you kill me. I didn’t believe it but figured if he heard me it might scare him away. Then I thought it could be the cops that I heard and if they caught me I would be arrested for drugs. But sure one arrest would totally be worth not being abducted by Jeffrey Dahmer. The cops also probably wouldn’t be to found having my bullshit friend’s army knife on me. Then the thought what if he is a supernatural being, who can not be beat. What if I end up in hell and I am forever burning and in a pit of lava, and I am alive forever and underneath theit of lava I am being pulled apart and I am forever alone. There is nothing but pain. I cant deal with this, why I am going crazy. I work hard, I am cleaver and nice and yet somehow I am going to die tonight. They are gong to abduct me and its going and be tortured by way of jamming things in my orifices and sticking a sharp long needle in my eye. I am going to die the same way the guy they named vampires after killed his victims. I can’t let this happen, but what can I do. I am helpless against my minds own paranoia of the worst. Is this how my entire life has been, in this perpetual state of misery, is this deja vu. Then suddenly I heard a loud helicopter like rumble, that I thought might also be near by DC having a nuc be detonated. So I impulsively dove to the ground, handily recalling my school days of getting low in the instance of nuclear inhalation. Then suddenly I was hit, I was right to be paranoid they were after me. I had yellow blood all over my jacket. I thought if I was going to die, I had to get a hold of my life and fight both the real and imagined monsters. As I grabbed the knife I knew this was a turning point in my life.

As I awoke after briefly dozing off as I hid in leaves, I hoped that was the low point in my life. It was still dark and I was covered in wet leaves and again felt like I was reliving something. The fun of experiencing constant fake deja vu was gone. So I tried to overcome this disorder.

I am overcome by the emotions of fear, angst, and a feeling of disgust. I guess I can be at peace with myself.


Sitting in that rather comfortable chair the cloudy paranoid details of the dark period suddenly vanished in a moment of sublime relief. I funny thought occurred to me; the déjà vu very well might have been real. If so, it was quite the relief to realize that it was not the paranormal that was not what was driving me crazy. However, I still didn’t feel particularly good, especially physically. Then thanks to my amazing memory, I realized why. It was the rush of electric current that just so happened to run out of juice before it was supposed to kill me. Then two semi profound thought bobbed around in my head, which conveniently sum up my circumstances: what we project on the inside is inevitably what we project outwardly and coming to terms with ones mortality makes the time before we face it more relevant. I actually don’t really know if that is profound, because I was not an ideal state of mind. I then asked the executioner if I could get to a free pass on life since they fucked up my execution. To which he replied, no sorry and then got jolted back in to another sting of some more trippey deja vu.

This blog needs a theme

During winter break I will retool my blog for bigger and better things. To all loyal readers (obviously no one) dont worry the same thing you have always loved about this blog (clearly nothing) will still be there (hopefully it wont because no one reads my shit).

Tim and Eric have an Awesome show

After watching clip after clip of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job I wonder what makes me adore this show so much. Most people after watching this show I imagine probably lament something to the affect of "it's so stupid". However, that misses the genius of the show; the complexly crafted absurdity of television. Whether that be the millions of unqualified people who so desperately want to be on television that they will sign up for anything or the people who have no who have been somehow been granted access to production equipment which leads them to exploit the latest in video technology with the result being an excessive weirdness. What makes this show so immensely enjoyable is the level of absurdity pursued. Whether it be a parody of a 80's public access video rebelling against wiping once butt, a home video showing you how to handle your child clown if it falls asleep, or Rain Wilson selling an encyclopedia filled with all the different numbers in existence. Take this in comparison to Snakes on a Plane which didn't take the absurdity nearly far enough or other shows on Adult swim that just repeatly go for over-the-top randomness in their absurdity instead of intelligent satirical references like Tim and Eric do. There is just so much dreadful material that somehow gets watched or people our forced to watch (educational training and what not) that so intellectually mocks the absurdity of it all makes Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job so fucken awesome.

So copy and paste this link in the address bar and enjoy(if you are reading this blog I have to imagine you will at least kinda enjoy it)

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/timandericawesomeshow/indexpage.html#video

Attention Abortion issue voters: you’re not having an Impact

Attention Abortion issue voters: you’re not having an Impact

It is first important to state that I am pro life; I believe that the government can intervene and make a thoughtful judgment as to when life begins (obviously with accountability to their constituents in mind). However, I have also developed a level of political practicality, which is why abortions has slipped from my sole political issue when I was a teenage, to one so far down the spectrum that at most it could have a subconscious affect on who I vote for (for instance: if both candidate our in all ways terrible). So, a logical next question would be: if you believe abortion is murder, how can it slip so far?

First, I would argue that it is not obviously murder. I have made a judgment that it’s at best morally dubious and in particular, late trimester abortions our pretty scummy. This however is not the same thing as shooting piercing hot led in a fully developed and fully alive human being. If the paramount goal in stopping abortion is stopping murder then giving aid to those who suffer from dire starvation, spurring global development or preventing genocide should be political issues that should be given far higher precedent to while contemplating ones political ideology. Though, pro-lifers often neglect these issues while on the candidates’ issues page and instead opt to do a Ctrl F for the word abortion and have their mind made up.

Second, even if you do believe that abortion is tantamount to murder; can it be stopped politically. Four almost eight years we have had the most anti-abortion candidate to hold the presidency since Roe V Wade, yet abortion is hardly any closer to getting overturned then it was at the beginning of the millennium. This is because the majority of the country is NOT against banning all practices of abortion. Those who consider themselves pro-choice has only grown since the 1970’s, so unless you can come up with unique/ingenious argument as to why the majority of Americans our wrong on in being pro-choice and get them to listen to it, then its not changing. Therefore, at this point totally eliminating the practice is simply not going to happen so why not just demote the issue in favor of more pressing concerns.

Therefore, it must be encouraged for those who our pro life to speak out against it. If you truly care deeply then study all angles and try to come up with that renowned thesis lessening the practice, yet do this in conjunction with other policies that save lives. So, if the true goal of being pro-life is because you want to save human lives, then examine the cost benefit analysis of assorted policies that save human life and diversify your political currency on more practical policies, at least until more then half the country suddenly decides to see it your way.

my letter to the McCain campaign

Dear Mr. Conway,

There is more then simple liberal bias as to why the media has neglected (or least in comparisons with his opponent) Mr. McCain. It is because Mr. McCain has lost his charm. It as if the McCain campaign had not learned it's lessons from last summers meltdown in a attempt to court the always wary Republican base. In attempting to make Mr. McCain look presidential you have vanquished so much of his off colored humor that made him so beloved by iconoclast everywhere. The perception of Mr. McCain I see radiating from the campaign team is of a stuffed shirt. Instead, you should have Mr. McCain make frequent off color yet funny jokes. Presidential elections our as much a personality contest as anything else, so why not make a better attempt at highlight Mr. McCain's likable personality. Other wise he looks an awful lot like another humorous GOP candidate who ditched his humor in 1996 and lost by a heft margin.


Thank You

Brian Adams

religion and brian

I have had a radical shift on religion in the past few years, going from a former alter boy to an agnostic theist. When my parents go away to their bay-house, they ask me to take my brother to Catholic mass, which often leaves me disenchanted. The top qualm I leave with is that Judeo-Christian religion offers an "indisputable" meaning to life, if you only have faith. My disillusionment is with the intellectual stagnation and scared behavior if one "diverts off path". I do not necessarily discredit or disagree with prominent religion diverse philosophies and some of the guidelines toward striving for this meaning or the collective spirituality and believe all offer clear truths. However, life's meaning is to complex and unknowable to settle on a definite answer or meaning in once life span.
Therefore, if you do find a path that you believe suits you, you should still continue to be an independent-thinker and allow yourself to give thoughts to diverging perspectives toward life's meaning and not close yourself off to the narrow truth you have found, in say, Evangelical Christianity.

hillary ridiculous sexism claim on obama in laymen speak

Hillary: Your a fucken asshole.
Barack: Well your kind of a giant bitch
Hillary: this blackasshole is a sexist pig.
Barack: what...sexism-- bitch is just the feminine equation for asshole...it merely proper form............and blackasshole--COME ON?

After Further Review

Often your first instinct is clearly the correct one; after quickly examining the scale the clearest and largest weight is routinely the heaviest. However, with merely a quick glance you may omit the other minute objects left on the table, which could inexplicably weigh more. Therefore, I must persist that time permissible all scenarios are weighted in order to prove your initial thesis.

For example, on further review is watching said television program earnestly the heaviest weighted thing on the table right now?

This I would imagine is obvious to all, yet it is done by so few in daily existence.

My Advice to Nerds (a nerd manefesto if you will)

I often give my brother a tongue-and-cheek hard time about being a "big nerd"; he has a good since of humor about it (though he was born a huge nerd, which is why my parents named him spencer). This had me thinking on why so many students at my brothers gifted high school were so socially annoying and or retarded. Why do nerds struggle so much socially and why do "jocks" hate them so much(rightfully so...damn nerds)?
My first advice to nerds would be to not worry about being the most socially gifted or popular, it is ultimately not that important. You were dealt a bad hand on that round, so don't worry if you don't clean up on it.
This is not to discount social skills; you ultimately don't want to be horrid with them. Therefore, the first thing the nerd should do is alter his paradigm; in doing this he should rightfully be confident in his mental prowess and should transfer that confidence so that it manifests that into social confidence. With that said, attempting to impress based entirely on your mental strengths is a strategy that has proven time-and-time again that it will get you-- beaten up. Therefore, nerds should put his or her perceptive study skills toward studying the funny kids and affable kids, who did not obtain their lofty status because of looks or athletic ability but because of hummor or philsophy. If you are simply not funny then at least be interesting in a currency with social value. If ultimately you enjoy talking about heisenberg microscope --awesome-- however, it couldn' hurt to first talking about sports or music. It is like that episode of the simpsons were Lisa tries to be cool, she pivots from youthful dialog to interesting nerdy talk about seashells.
In the long run nerds, you are far more valuable to society if you focus on your nerdy endevours. I am simply advocating this brief advice to encourage in your social time to flurish a tad. If you have the confidence your nerdy ways has bestowed on you and are at the very least affable then you should at least be able to occasionaly make small talk with the popular kids.

Demian by Hesse; insightful blurbs

This paragraph on page 29 of Herman Hesse Demian really struck me and caused me to ruminate over it.
Explaining the validity to his moral dilemma:

"I realize that some people will not believe that a child a little more than ten years is capable of having such feelings. MY story is not intended for them. I am telling it to those who have a better knowledge of man. The adult who has learned to translate a part of his feelings into thoughts notices the absence of these thoughts in a child, and therefore comes to believe that the child lacks these experiences, too Yet rarely in my life have I felt and suffered as deeply as at that time. "

Emil Sinclair

Demian view on religious laws: (pg 54)

"...That is why each of us has to find out for himself what is permitted and what is forbidden--forbidden for him. It's possible for one never to transgress a single law and still be a bastard. And vice versa. Actually it's only a question of convenience. Those who are too lazy and comfortable to think for themselves and their own judges obey the laws. Others sense their own laws within them; things are forbidden to them that every honorable man will do any day in the year and other things are allowed to them that are generally despised. Each person must stand on his own feet."

Demian

My logic of the Masses 3/6/07

There is simply not enough time for one to deeply comprehend all issues. Therefore, we only give meaningful thought to those issues which we deem important to us. For example, I simply don’t see the grave importance, have the time, or knowledge to know what is fashionable. Therefore, I trust those who I deem have style and look rather sharp, whether it be men whose clothes receive high marks or name designers. There are two problems with this concept

1. Are the majority of the issues we give the most about of time pondering-- issues of importance? This is both true in societies where luxury is common, and therefore there is simply no immediate need to ponder over issues beyond entertainment. It is also true in places where there is simply little time to contemplate issues outside of day to day survival. That is why we must prioritize what our brain power. One must put a premium on such things as the meaning of life and spirituality (religion), the actions of government and the impact on the world, philosophy, and other issues of importance. This is not to say not to focus on items of enjoyment, but rather simply to say not to focus a majority of are brain power on them.
2. On issues we don’t consider important enough to put vast amounts of brain power mussing over and instead decide to follow popular opinion, it is vital to do so with a level of skepticism. In the example of my fashion choices, if I solely relied on the advice of experts and hipsters without also contemplating say the vulnerability of wearing jeans with wholes in them or wearing a shoddy article of clothing produced by a child to lazy to double stitch, then the classic example of the “emperor’s new clothes” could arise. This contemplation is often not given, the most poignant example of which is the Holocaust. A lack of meaningful thought was given by your average German and this lead to a lack of a check on the Nazi’s.

Therefore, I believe the absolute most vital trait one should be conscious of possessing is -- independent thought.

making fun (not funny)

Criticism is inherently personal or particular. When someone criticizes you especially pertaining to “making fun” do not take it personally. Here’s why, first analyses who it is giving you a hard time, is this a person’s a opinion is reflective of the public at large and not some dick who is just trying to make you look foolish. If it is some dick everyone else probably dislikes him to a similar degree and if not maybe there is a reason for it. Second is it true or false, it might just be some generic insult which is used toward everyone, Tom Brady has probably been called ugly before, and bill gates has probably been called stupid. However, if you think it is true should or can you work on bettering yourself. If for example you are fat and someone criticizes you for that, you can work on loosing weight and are probably already aware. If it is true, be honest with yourself and try to work on it. If it is true and you cant work on it (excluding vain/unnecessary surgery) accept it and move on, if you are short that’s the genes you were given and you probably come from a long line of short people, accept it so it doesn’t bother you, be honest and you cant do any thing about so either ignore it or preferably use it to your advantage.

mock onion headlines that am sending to the onion, for hopeful employment

Local Mother Applauded for only Purchasing Single Stuffed Oreo’s

Despite protest from local mother Jessica Roebachs sons fatter friends that the switch from double back to the original single stuffed was “lame”; she pursued what she knew to be right.

US Protestors Death to Iraq March Met with Great Success

“I came up here from Mobile, Al, to counter all them there Iraqis Death to America. I feel like we are kicking there ass in the effectiveness in this there protests as well.”

Exclaimed one of the Protestors Billy Joe Tolebert.

Local Nine Year Old Feels he Has Finally Outgrown Mind of Mencia

“I like laughing at Retards as much as the next guy, but after the thousandth time he goes Dee Dee Dee, it just looses some of that outrageous edge.” adding ““I mean I am nine years old now, a couple years ago I felt like this was a little bellow me.”

Congressional Vegan Probe discovers Alec Baldwin requested prescription Meat

“ You got that size with out the aid of any dairy products” propped VA representative

Tom Davis.

American Tourist outraged by BBC Internationals relegation of the important DC Madam story to the end of the broadcast. (any fox news sensationalist story)

Local Liberal makes up Directions as to not look Xenophobic

“I could just tell he had a beautiful Jamaican or some sort of exotic African accident, and I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t have compassionate for his plight of not being able to no where O’Kelly’s Irish Pub was. Therefore, I thought the progressive thing to do was to just make up the directions.”

I am surprisingly self Aware

By Michael Jackson

“I know what everyone is saying about me, but I have really thick skin…which I guess I somewhat ironic with all the perceived cosmetic surgery I have had done to it.”

Sources claim that John McCain is a secret Jainist

Polls have shown that voters are outraged. Nebraska resident Tom Harkin said “I knew he was one of them all along. He is not born on US soil, he has that weird frizzy hair, and his skin…its all wrinkly.”

Tom Cruise reveals Scientolgies big secret: “It has always been just one big satirical joke on organized religion that got way out of hand.”

“You know how Any Kauffman would always take a joke way to far, well that’s sort of why Scientoligy has existed as a real religion for this long. Our intent was to just satirically point out some of the absurdities of traditional religion.”

divorce court coy behavior

Who the fuck is divorce court kidding, being so casual about having Gary Colemen as a guest...as if hes just some regular middle aged black midget, who happens to be getting divorced from some runaway red headed coke head. While the quality of people standing trial is probably run of the mill, and while there might be a lot of ex 80's stars willing to do anything to be on tv (I am looking at you Screech) I can't imagine it's standard affair, of all the mock judge shows featuring no guff/sassy black women, dude choose yours, Judge Toler. Thats nothing to be humble about, you exploit Gary the way he so desperately seeks such exploitation .

Wright and Wrong (what a ingenious pun, I had to have been the first person to have thought of it)

Writing on Obama's websites blog, you would think everything would be in defense of Obama (i orginaly wrote this on his blog, no offense blogspot). Therefore, I feel to maintain some balance I will state that I hate Obama's position of NAFTA. With that being said, I must defend him on being "to late" on denouncing Reverend Wright. What makes people attractive also makes them potentialy dangerous. Im pretty sure a lot of favorite musicians do a lot of drugs and go all the way with many females they weren’t married to, I excuse that, in the name of rock. I more appropriate example for this particular circumstance would be Rodger Clemens; the same intensity that made him an incredible pitcher, also drove him to steroids. You can not fault the Yankees GM for choosing him, with the caveat that he should have known that at 40 he must have been on steroids, and to apologize and denounce him now, is simply "too late".

SNL: 90 minutes of airtime, 3 of which have a chance of being entertaining

As I am watching a sketch of Jaime Lee Curtis pooping her pants while eating Activia yogurt, the shame kicks in and I feel like Adam after eating the forbidden apple. The lameness of my current state of being strikes from many directions. First, I am spending this Saturday night, at 23, watching SNL in my parents family room. Second, I had honestly been looking forward to watching SNL since noon and had stopped studying for my GRE 20 minutes early to ensure I would miss the 11:29 start time. The final strike comes from the high probability, that when I am discussing my weekend on Monday, the only conversation piece of any note,from the weekend, will be when I reference the mildly amusing digital short of Andy Samberg singing daiquiri girl while white words flashing over the screen call out Gnarles Barkley, for not showing up to the video shoot.

With SNL lowering my overall opinion of Brian Adams, I feel like I have a responsibility to myself to critique them a little bit. The most broad and obvious critique is this, if a fictional television program can not reinvent it self after 8-10 years it needs to go away (I am looking at you The Simpsons). Specifically, SNL seem to have such a rigid system to churning shows out that outside of the quite rare biting social or political commentary there is nothing fresh/entertaining about SNL. They have but four formulas to producing a sketch,

This is to not say producing a cleaver/fresh sketch is impossible within these constructs, it is merely to say, that it is rare. My suggestion to SNL is to focus more on inventive comedians like Andy Sanmber and his crew who produce the digital shorts. I would also advocate they do more Andy Kauffman types bits where you use the live aspect to your comedic advantage (and by that I don't mean laughing during the bit). My final and by far most important suggestion, would be to hire Brian Adams.
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Publish Post

Is it MTV's fault?

If basic cable had a channel that played the most vile extremes of hardcore pornography and all Americans received it, the ratings would be astronomical. I would imagine the demographic with the highest audience rating would be teenage males. The typical lunch room conversation would go like this “Dude, did you watch Sorority Sluts 4 yesterday, that shit was banging.” Should we let the free market rule the day and allow what would almost certainly be the biggest thing to hit television since Reality TV?

The non music part of “Music Television Station” is clearly hurting our society. It adds such little nourishment for the brain, unless viewed cynically. Those who complain about MTV are often met with the counter argument that it is a microcosm of real life and they are just showing the way it is. That’s almost certainly true for the average viewer. However, that argument while true demonstrates where I believe the problem lies, not in the lack of "reality" but extreme amounts of overconsumption. It suggest that on top of living my own average life, I am going to spend hours and hours watching prettier people live their average life. The damage scandalous reality TV is causing American society is not that it is corrupting us, it is that it is providing the luxury American can only temporarily afford, excess.

Then why is it acceptable to allow television to be overrun with shows such as “date my mom” and “real world”. I am in no way here to argue that MTV should be censored from their programming. The pornography example is the Heroin of video consumption, while MTV is merely the Marijuana, and I am all for legalizing marijuana. The unattended consequences of marijuana prohibition such as overflowing of our criminal courts, jails particularly in amongst urban youth is undeniable. There are many pot users who can control their use and eventually quit and can add productivity to our economy. The unattended consequences of Politically Correct over regulation would be even more numerous.

If I am not for censorship, therefore what I am I for. The easy and obvious answer is to tell parents to turn of the kid’s television. It seems so simple, and like most simple answers it’s just not totally practical. The parents should try to curb viewing habits and explain the rational as to why time would be better spent on school work. However, the average 15 year old is not going to acquiesce with a parents request to limit consumption and in most cases is going to fight it, despite the strictest of regulations. The onus is on the parent to try to limit consumption as much as possible, but the expectation that they will halt it is not reasonable. Though obviously the effort should be made to a much greater extent then is currently done.

I seem to have really squeezed out all apparent options, if not the government or parents then whom? The party that I would like to see step up and help curb this massive over consumption, is a branch of the vary monster I am ostracizing, that being more cleaver members and ethical members of the entertainment industry. I believe that this can actually come somewhat fluently and naturally. The natural course of events is when extreme segments of society are becoming domineering there is a blowback response. This happened with hippies in Vietnam and might be happening with Barack Obama in response to the current Bush administration.

The stupidity of the product the entertainment industry is producing has already started to show signs of being met with a growing backlash. The popularity of sardonic mediums such as the Onion, the Colbert Report, the Daily Show etc has caught on. Albeit more of a response to the current political environment as opposed to the entertainment environment, though one such recent onion headline I thought was appropriate “Area Eccentric Reads Entire Book” MTV should take the initiative to make intelligence "cool", "with the irony of MTV being ironic”, in the way it did a decade ago with Beavis and Butt Head and Daria. This would not only be for their benefit, but the benefit of American advancement. It would be to their benefit with the growth of greater niches and a new season in trends, they could capitalize on this by offering cleverness and intelligence on a greater scale (which could only work if don't honestly) . However, with the help of the internet and other entertainment vehicles, the popularity of scoffing the current stupidity of popular America may itself develop utterly out of spite ; and when if that becomes to popular and trite, perhaps a blowback against the evils of that sprout out from this industry will emerge.